Day 23

Peaceful mountains in my rear view mirror, cow pastures on either side, four noisy kids in the car as we head to town for our weekly shop today. I turn my iTunes blend up a little louder to make out the words, "Gentleness that sows the path of peace."* And, I think of how Paul begins chapter four of Philippians with exhorting us toward joy and gentleness, just before he leads us down the path toward peace. 


The journal continues…

'Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand' (Philippians 4:5).  

As I uncover the meaning of the words in this verse, which can so quickly be overlooked to move on to the 'bigger passages' of chapter 4, I uncover the mask on my own heart, painfully revealing my failures just a few hours earlier today.

'Moderation' is translated to mean: gentleness and forbearance 

Yikes! 'Gentleness' would not describe me as a mom. I like to think I am gentle with others, but with my children I would be likened more to a sargeant. There is no time for silliness or tears—only cooperation, order, regime, and the task at hand. Getting out the door or everyone down for naps brings out the worst in me. 

Then, I looked up 'forbearance': patient self-control; restraint and tolerance; the action of refraining from exercising a right.

A dagger to the heart. A vivid reminder of how I failed my children today as I lost all patience and self-control trying to get the four of them out the door to go to Costco. 

'The Lord is at hand (right here!!!).' I often think no one is watching and would be horrified if the neighbors heard my cry echo over the mountains: 

'Get in the car!' 

My Dare: 

Since I am very unsuccessful at speaking in a normal, sweet tone when giving orders to my children, I challenge myself to go to the other extreme: to slow down and come right to where they are, put my hand on their shoulder, look into their eyes and whisper to them what I need them to do. This will prevent yelling, barking too many orders at once and I will then know they heard me in case of disobedience. 

I must remember—gentleness and patience are fruits of the Spirit. If I am not displaying moderation as a mom, I am being controlled by my own lusts and desires rather than being led by the Spirit.

The cares and troubles of motherhood can lead us to low, dark places, filled with unrest. Trial upon trial. Leaving us gasping for air…for relief…for peace. The possibility of raising children without anxiety seems a bit Utopian. Yet Paul calls out our faith in the next verses of chapter four. And, tomorrow, we will see that we can exchange our tears for laughter!





*Keith and Kristyn Getty, Holy Spirit